tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37770909713458080712024-02-20T17:29:50.161+00:00letting loose with the leptarda beast, a blog and an appealing assortment of loose letters.brendanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06006548038282645948noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3777090971345808071.post-34216854181170325352014-05-15T15:43:00.001+01:002014-05-20T14:37:51.215+01:00In Which A Bear of Very Little Bollocks Gives A Fahck When It's Not His Turn To Give A Fahck...<br />
WINNIE-THE-PUKE: What I don't understand is...<br />
<br />
ERROL'S MATE: Oy, lissen, right, I ain't gonna go to any court or nuffin'...<br />
<br />
WINNIE-THE-PUKE: No, but I mean... why would anyone want to shoot your mate, woss-name? Isaiah?<br />
<br />
ERROL'S MATE: Snot.<br />
<br />
WINNIE-THE-PUKE: "Snot?"<br />
<br />
ERROL'S MATE: Snot Bogey.<br />
<br />
WINNIE-THE-PUKE: Well, there you go. 'Is mum called 'im Isaiah, but all 'is mates called 'im "Snot"?<br />
<br />
ERROL'S MATE: Yeah. It woz coz 'e used to sneeze a lot and wipe it on 'is clothes, know wot I mean?<br />
<br />
WINNIE-THE-PUKE: But why would anyone want to shoot 'im?<br />
<br />
ERROL'S MATE: Dunno mate. We used to kick ther crap out of 'im when 'e stole the pot at our crap game every Saturday. But we'd never shoot the fahcker.<br />
<br />
WINNIE-THE-PUKE: Let me understand, mate... you lot would play craps every Saturday, put money in ther pot and your mate Snot would steal it all ther time?<br />
<br />
ERROL'S MATE: Yeah. 'E'd play a bit, and when there woz a bit of money in the pot, 'e'd pick it up and run orf wiv it. <br />
<br />
WINNIE-THE-PUKE: Fahckin' 'ell...<br />
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ERROL'S MATE: Then we'd chase 'im and beat ther living crap out of 'im. <br />
<br />
WINNIE-THE-PUKE: And this 'appened every Saturday night?<br />
<br />
ERROL'S MATE: Like fahcking clockwork.<br />
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WINNIE-THE-PUKE: Look, maybe it's just me being a Bear of Very Little Bollocks, but I don't get it mate. If your mate Snot Bogey always stole the money, why did yer let 'im play in the first place?<br />
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ERROL'S MATE: Fahckin' have to, don't we? This is Thee 'Undred Anarchist Wood, ain't it? Home ov Libbertee, Egalitee, Fraternity, and Improbably Named Lager.<br />
<br />
<i>(Cut to: Revolutionary Woodland Animals with instrumentsand amplifiers: PUNKLET on rhythm guitar and vocals, CHRISTOPHER ROTTEN on bass, RABID McSYMATOSIS on lead guitar and WINNIE-THE-PUKE on drums. Punklet steps forward to the mic and sings:</i>)<br />
<br />
PUNKLET:<br />
When you walk in ther Woods now<br />
You better take good care<br />
You don't know who you might find<br />
Hanging 'round there<br />
Revolutionary animals<br />
Smoking Weed, Drinking Beer,<br />
Keepin' those Heffalumps<br />
Far away from 'ere!brendanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06006548038282645948noreply@blogger.com0